Thursday, October 13, 2011

New Setting

Lemme give you an update:

I walked into Angel Food Catering, and Mike said, “We’re going to leave for the wedding in a minute, but let’s sit down and talk for a second.”  We sat down.

“Listen, Robert.  If we go to this event and you like how things go and I like how things go and I offer you a job, this is what I‘m looking for.  I’m looking\ for a point man.  I want you to free up some of my time so that I can get down to the office.  You’ll need to keep things orderly, running smoothly.  Okay?”

“Sure,” I said.

“Okay.  Do you wanna roll?”

“Sure,” I said again.

“Hey, Jim, get this man a roll.”

So I ate my roll while Mike talked some more, and, now, I work at Angel Food Catering.  And ever since then, I’ve been looking for a place in Yipsi to buy delicious muffins.  It‘s been a tumultuous journey.  Frozen blueberries aren’t any good in muffins (unless you like that gelatinous, indistinct sort of thing), so I don’t recommend B-24’s, and Beezy’s has average-tasting infant-sized muffins.  I‘m looking for hearty.  The Ypsi Bakery has good-sized muffins, but it seems like that business is only open when certain stars are aligned.  I’ll keep you apprised of my findings.

I don’t want to bore you with my life preceding the THEYPSI MUFFIN HUNT because I know there’s nothing better than a good muffin.  In fact, I’m saving up to buy a new muffin pan.  I gave my last one to Joline when we graduated.  Very solemn occasion.

And, the other day, Judy and I were doing a bread-tasting at the Ypsi Co-Op because we were thinking about outsourcing our bread production for this big wedding that is coming up in a few weeks.  We tasted a few breads, and they tasted a lot like bread, and it seemed as though the baker had a decent head on his shoulders because of it.

We were asking Chris the Baker questions.  He was answering them.  I wasn’t paying attention to this.  I was looking around the bakery.  And on the bread rack, I saw an ant with it‘s ass covered in flour.

You realize, now, that I’m about to talk about this ant when I haven’t explained anything about Judy.  This is because the ant is the central character in the story.  Judy isn‘t a central character, but she’s a real person, and you’ll find out about her eventually, if you regularly read the blog.  I know that I could have entirely cut Judy from the story, but this is a true story, and I don’t want to short Judy from her time to in the spotlight, and I don’t want you to think that I’m lying to you.

So I looked at this ant with an ass full of flour, and I said, “Ant, what are you doing here.”

It said, “I’m working.  I’m collecting food.  I‘m bringing it back to the farm.”

I said, “Looks like you’re just messing around in the flour.”

It said, “Nope.  I’m working my ass off.”

The muffins at Zingerman’s haven’t impressed me either.  I ate one of their cinnamon and sugar muffins.  It tasted like a doughnut.  I want a muffin that tastes like a muffin, by golly.

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